Fear

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How often we have talked about Fear as it was something to overcome? How many of us feel fear is a weakness? How many of us take it such that the opposite of fear is strength?

Fear is not a negative. Fear balance positiveness, to pace it, to bring out the better part of the positive. Understanding fear allows us to understand ourselves, our limits and our setbacks. Fear forces us to be better, for we fear it so much, we want to run through the other end of not fearing what we used to fear. Through of lives, we have feared many things. When we were young, we fear ghost and little green monsters. as we grow older we fear broken families, relationships, exams, competitions…. and as we move with time we fear death, and more so public speaking.

Fear does not kill, but it can give a sense of dying, so much so you wished you were dead. What is it that we fear? Fearing what was going to or not going to happen, what might or might not happen or even what may not or never happen? We don’t want it to happen so much we play it over and over in my mind causing our own fear. There are some who fear repercussions for their wrong or right actions, fear vengeance and fear punishment.

Fear is a good thing to have. It makes us what we are. How we react to this fear will make us what we will be. And it also guides us to the right path when the mistake is ours to fear.

Fear is not the opposite of courage. Fear is Fear. Accept and understand it – to be a better person.

The Path that should not be taken.

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We all pursue the best in our lives. We strive to be better people, but along the way we fail to do so. We take the wrong path. Sometimes you come to your senses and quickly change the path and no harm is done – just some lessons learnt. Some other times the damage is irreversible and the healing process is a lot more painful. It is a lot more difficult to forgive or to be forgiven.

The path that should not be taken. Most if not all of us have come across this path. In a moment, we make the wrong decision. We regret it later, but the damage is already done. Sometimes we feel that it is nothing… but why do we regret it then? Sometimes we brush it aside and forget it… only to have it happen again.

We should accept. Learn and move on. The greater the mistake the greater the suffering…. The natural punishment comes into effect immediately. We need to redeem ourselves. We need to take falls and slides as humbling experiences to make us better people. The extreme of mistakes brings out the extreme of good behavious…. So the path that should not be taken, also opens up a new path seldom travelled.

If we need to beat ourselves up… let’s do that. If we need to go through the phase of suffering and depression… let’s do that. At the end of the day, we walk towards the light at the end of the tunnel and when we reach, we turn back, put a ‘no entry’ sign, close the path, and walk away, never to turn back.

Let the path that should not be taken be the path to guide us forward.

Slow Down, Take a Step Back…. and Breath…

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Had your breakfast? Rushed for work/school? Had a good lunch? Back home for dinner? Too tired to do anything else, or maybe spent some ‘quality’ time on the computer? Or maybe play a game or two? So all set for a nice shut eye?

Sounds familiar? I am sure it does. We are all ‘guilty’ of it. Guilty? Why Guilty you might ask – why not I will ask you back. How old are we? What did we do with our life? We are always tossed around by this huge wheel called life. Why are we slaves of the environment? Why do we caging ourselves to the routine boundaries of the world of our making? No one has enslaved us – we have! We are always looking for people to blame this on… Look no further, there is none. It is we. We are the ones we make ourselves who we are. Let us not go into the blame game.

Take a step back. Is there something we can do differently today – maybe start with the small things. Maybe you could take a moment to smell the roses, say ‘Hi!’ to your neighbour, or your bus driver, or maybe read a book, write a poem, share a coffee with your loved ones, spent time to reflect on yourself, and the list goes on. These are not difficult tasks, but we find it so hard to just do that little more.

I once was queuing up for lunch. I was extremely hungry and the person preparing the food was very slow. As I try to have my own conversations to keep myself sane from the infuriating flame of anger and agitation, I saw an old lady behind me. I was asking myself if I should let her go ahead of me, then again I carried on my internal conversation: ‘I am sure she had all the time in the world, but I am the busy one’… ‘But then she is old and she will feel pain standing’… ‘well my food is going to be very simple to prepare, it will be very short… should I even bother thinking about giving her the space to move forward?’… The internal conversations I have are simple in nature but complex in depth. When my turn came, I moved aside and let her move forward. She got her food, and she did not thank me… but that did not bother me. I was totally elated to know that I did a good thing. 

It is not the size of deeds we do everyday. It is the thought and the will to make a difference to others and in the process for ourselves. We have to always learn to take a step back and look around us. To take a deep breath and to appreciate the fact that we are living. We need to accept the fact that we are grateful for the many thing – even to have this nice keyboard and monitor to do the work, sitting on a nice cosy chair. Take a break, take a breather, enjoy life!

What is Happiness?… and what is beyond?

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We have everything, but we have nothing.

What is the happiness that we seek?
A poor chap lives on a fraction of what we spend on our gadget or accessories, but who is happier? Poor comparison it may be, but the question still stays. How do we measure happiness? Is it a case of who has more, or a case of who feels more satisfied. Then again does satisfaction lead to happiness? So… what is happiness and who and how is it defined? Could we say happiness is the end result we seek — may it be chasing our dreams, or having the heightened sense of achievement? We are always pursuing happiness aren’t we. Is happiness just an ultimate goal we want to achieve, and is it not a enjoyable journey to accompany us?

Let us now look at it from another perspective – Peace. Does it gives us peace?
How different is it from ‘Salvation’ or ‘Enlightenment’ or Solitude – the purpose here being the absence of both happiness and sadness bring us to a state of pure bliss… pure peace. That is an amazing space to be in… but a difficult painful path to pursue… but the path does not has space for ‘worldly feelings’ – or does it? Even the basic happiness is within our grasp, we find it so difficult to retain, so then how are we to move beyond that to forgo happiness for a greater feeling – the sense of complete nothingness?

The ‘state of nothingness’ is so amazing, it is like experiencing a great dream you would not want to wake up from. And once you so do wake up, you will always want to go back to it, only now you do not know how. But let’s take one step at a time… let’s be happy first :)

Who am I to you?

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We start the day off. Very busy – rushing to work. Working parents more so – get their kids ready, have their meals packed, get them on the bus or drive them to school etc. Our day is a busy one. In that how much time do we spent looking around us. Do we even have time to wonder how the rest live their lives?

For me I just want to make a point that no matter how caught up I can still log in to write a few works. That means a lot.

People are good.

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I have the ‘privilege’ of regularly meeting people – both the good and the ‘bad’. With this comes the unavoidable situations where I need to witness the undesirable behavious. Who does not wish to only see the beauty of the rose and live in the ignorance that the torn does not exist? Every beautiful behaviour of one person is also accompanied by other inconsiderate and insensitive beings. So we thus form this world of both haven and hell. However… I strongly believe that everyone is good. Yes there are some outliers who will sting even when we reach out to help them. However in general we humans are made out of goodness, stained by the darkness with the passage of time. Why should we be allowed to be stained? That is something each and everyone of of us should give a thought to. We react to a situation – good or bad. The manner in which we react is what will define us and what we will make ourselves to be.

I remember a story of how a teacher asks 2 of his students – one good and the other bad – to venture out in the world to fulfil a task. The good student is tasked to find one bad person and vice versa for the bad student. At the end of a long day they came back, both empty-handed. “I could not find a single bad person”, claimed the good student. “I could not find any good person”, exclaimed the bad student.

We see in others what we see in ourselves. The others are a reflection of ourselves. We make the world the way we perceive it to be. We make believe what we believe in. We are not only made out of situations…we are better than that. There is greatness and there is goodness in each one of us. Let us not be fooled to follow the path of the devil, but believe there is goodness in all… give everyone a chance. It begins with us.

We are good. People are good.

Alone – What do you feel?

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We are almost always amongst our colleagues, friends, family and loved ones. How often are we left alone? What happens when we are along? What is that feeling? Do you feel alone and start to call someone to talk to? Do you dress up and leave the ‘lonely’ state and get to the city to be amongst the ‘crowd’? What is being alone mean to you? I realise now that many could actually feel lonely and a good number might feel ‘scared’.

It seems, not many could actually appreciate the pause in the routine cycle of things –  for us to put a break in our daily activity and evaluate life in general. We can go to a nice, cosy corner, and read our favourite novel or serve the internet, updating our Facebook and Twitter… or even catch some funnies in YouTube. Maybe, we can even make ourselves a nice hot chocolate or cold beer, whichever suits us, and turn up the volume on our Surround Speaker and watch our favourite Blu-Ray movie on our HDTV. Or maybe, tidy up our table or pictures we have taken for Christmas… or follow up on some backlog of work… or SMS/email a old friend… or write a diary or share your feeling on WordPress… or go repair that leaking pipe, setup the External Hard Disk or Wireless Router that you just purchased, which is sitting there in the corner…. or maybe get some exercise… or really just unwind and play an online game or simly get some sleep to get recharged… or get some alcohol in your system and do all of the above in the floating state.

Maybe you should try to reconnect with our past and see what you missed out doing. May it be painting, listening to some classics, stamp collecting, looking through our album, or reading some poems… or watching some old movies that we used to enjoy 20 years back. Maybe we can be adventurous and drive our car to a place we have loved to go a long time now, or simply let your heart define the route. Or you could even take a bus and sit there and be absorbed with the world around you.

All of the above are something we can do anytime, but when do we even chose to do it? The moment we are given that precious space in our packed life, what do we choose to do? We can choose to just waste it, only to dump it with the notion that there will always be many such opportunities or simply to even take it as a ‘scary’ moment to ‘endure’ through… or we can cherish it and make every moment of that worth its while. Whichever path we choose are our choices. Choices on how we spent our life, our time and precious moments.

There is so much to do. That is… if we want to do them. Those ‘spare’ moments we have are to be cherished. It is really up to us to make those moments make something out of us. A routine ‘maintenance’ for ourselves by ourselves. To re-align our path to take a better route… or simply to find the better us. Let us value those moments… let us make it worth the while… let us give solitude its rightful place. Live well.

Greatness…. we define it.

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I like to drink (alcohol of couse) – all the time actually. However I don’t get to do it often. I have a family and as a responsible father who sets an example for his kids, I have to restrain myself. Why do I like to drink? I am not the kind who gets drunk and start becoming rowdy and all. I drink to get high, not drunk. When I am high, I become sober… and more at peace. I find a level of peace and I start to self reflect more when I am high. I will totally agree if I am branded oxymoronic. I like to drink and I am no connaisseur, although I drink with that pretext. I wish not to drink, but I do it now and again – why?

I have not taken drugs, but if you have I guess you will know what I am not talking about. We all want something to give a  sense of ‘purpose’. A moment to be ‘free’… a moment to be what we want to be… a moment to float in the stillness of time. I am in no way advocating drinking or drugs – in fact I totally dispice it. Then again, there is a part of me which just want to live in a subconscious world. A part of me that is weak and falls slave, chained up and confined in the cell that my mind puts me in. I am slave to myself – not to say I have no control over it, but I crave it… I enjoy it. My ‘choice’ of not wanting it does not change the fact that I am still a slave – of my choosing… of my craving. I never really got addicted to any particular evil, even though I tried ‘diligently’, just to experience what is that addiction that destroys a person and his/her life and family in the process. Maybe I am just blessed to be immune to addiction of the ‘dark’ kind, but that does not mean I have completely overcome it. To not allow oneself to be conquered and to have full control over oneself are two different things – one is a state of ‘constant’ and the other a state of ‘completeness’.

Much is expected of those who put themselves on a higher moral pedestal. What is more important is for each one of us to evaluate ourselves with high expectations – to look at ourselves and expect nothing short of greatness. No one is perfect – but each and every one of us strive to be perfect – to overcome our own demons, whichever size or shape they come in. Overcoming our demons is not easy – in fact it is the probably the one thing that is so integrated with us that we might feel lost without it. Such is the power of that leech. That is why greatness is never easy – that is why is called greatness… not good… not very good… not excellent… but greatness!

The biggest hurdle we need to go through to reach a higher state of being, is not out there, but in us. It knows our weakness and it feeds on that. Greatness is never easy. It is not about being capable of greatness, it is about the willingness to be great. Many have told me “Choice does not mean anything. I can choose to be a President but I can never be.” – well that is not choice. Let me share a true story of a famous leader as I have heard it with some enhancements.

The teacher in the class asked the students what they want to be when they grow up. There were some wanting to be a doctors, engineers, lawyers, teachers and so on. One kid stood up and said he wanted to be a Prime Minister. The teacher jokingly asked ‘There can be only one (sounds like ‘Highlander’) Prime Minister in this whole country, it is almost impossible. Maybe you might want to be something else’ – to which the student replied ‘There is only one person in this class who wanted to be a Prime Minister’.

You see, we become what we believe in. The believe or the seed of the desire for greatness does not exist in all. The fact that we believe is the step towards greatness.

Greatness is about choice. We choose that. Let’s us take the first step forward.

Technology, our partner…

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Today I installed WordPress on my iPhone – just finding suitable ways to have technology make life a little easier. It seem to be working fine so far – but there seem to be a lot of complaints about the uploading function. I will know in a while if this goes through.

A good part of my life is spent on having technology assist me. As much as many would find it intimidating… I don’t just find it a challenge to tame the furious, powerful bull, but has made this gentle giant my friend. Having had now grown together with my good friend technology, I wouldn’t say I can’t live without it, but more like we are good partners who can achieve greatness together.

Life is a wonderful journey and the technology is one amazing partner who shapes our lives. The path bringing us along the journey of life may be the same but the way we travel and the way we handle obstacles along the way can be drastically altered with technology. Treat it well and it will reciprocate.

It makes a difference

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So as the new year dawns, and while we talk about the purpose in life, there is one thing that we can do to make a difference. We can blog to make the world a better place – cliché you may say, but it is true… It depends on what you belief and the difference you set out to achieve. We need to have good intention, good thought and ideas to share with the world. Remember the story of the Starfish… ‘It makes a difference’. I have decided to make use of The DailyPost, and the community of other bloggers to do my part – to make that difference.