The straight road we have taken has not come to a clear divide. We either take the left or the right. Which will we take? The problem with crossroads is exactly as the name states… a state where you will need to choose. Either choice leads you to forgo the other. It is a win-lose case. You win some. You loose some. The choices are not straightforward. When are choice ever straightforward. If they were, we would not have to choose. Choices… it is both an angel and devil mixed into you. What we decide now will define our future. We don’t know the impact and we can’t foresee the future. So we stare at the cross road. Not being able to take any of the path, we stand, we stare and we wait…. You can wait all you want, but not making a choice only locks you on the same spot. Then again who says we will need to choose. Maybe this could be our path – the path to nowhere.. or a path to nowhere undecided.
There are many instances in our lives where we did what we should not have done, and we live to regret. Sometimes we do it unknowingly. Sometimes we do it unintentionally. Sometimes we hope not to see it, hoping that the universe will sort itself out. That does not happen. We live to regret. Many a times we regret the things we did not do more than the things we did.
Some regrets one can feel very guilty about. To have done shameful things, not affecting others, but oneself. Sometimes others may not think much of it, but you tend to be hard on yourself – you know what you did was wrong. And you feel ashamed! For that split moment we make a mistake… a wrong judgement and a grave mistake is committed.
Guilt and Shame are very hard to go away. We just hope we close our eyes and it is gone. We can only hope. We have to live through it – it reminds us not to do it. It helps us to redefine us, our values and who we really are, and what we really care for.
Just take one step at a time to move on… and to look back once a while and to remind ourselves of the lessons. Life have many lessons for us. Some pleasant and others unpleasant – both allows us to grow and become better people… better humans.
How often we have talked about Fear as it was something to overcome? How many of us feel fear is a weakness? How many of us take it such that the opposite of fear is strength?
Fear is not a negative. Fear balance positiveness, to pace it, to bring out the better part of the positive. Understanding fear allows us to understand ourselves, our limits and our setbacks. Fear forces us to be better, for we fear it so much, we want to run through the other end of not fearing what we used to fear. Through of lives, we have feared many things. When we were young, we fear ghost and little green monsters. as we grow older we fear broken families, relationships, exams, competitions…. and as we move with time we fear death, and more so public speaking.
Fear does not kill, but it can give a sense of dying, so much so you wished you were dead. What is it that we fear? Fearing what was going to or not going to happen, what might or might not happen or even what may not or never happen? We don’t want it to happen so much we play it over and over in my mind causing our own fear. There are some who fear repercussions for their wrong or right actions, fear vengeance and fear punishment.
Fear is a good thing to have. It makes us what we are. How we react to this fear will make us what we will be. And it also guides us to the right path when the mistake is ours to fear.
Fear is not the opposite of courage. Fear is Fear. Accept and understand it – to be a better person.
We all pursue the best in our lives. We strive to be better people, but along the way we fail to do so. We take the wrong path. Sometimes you come to your senses and quickly change the path and no harm is done – just some lessons learnt. Some other times the damage is irreversible and the healing process is a lot more painful. It is a lot more difficult to forgive or to be forgiven.
The path that should not be taken. Most if not all of us have come across this path. In a moment, we make the wrong decision. We regret it later, but the damage is already done. Sometimes we feel that it is nothing… but why do we regret it then? Sometimes we brush it aside and forget it… only to have it happen again.
We should accept. Learn and move on. The greater the mistake the greater the suffering…. The natural punishment comes into effect immediately. We need to redeem ourselves. We need to take falls and slides as humbling experiences to make us better people. The extreme of mistakes brings out the extreme of good behavious…. So the path that should not be taken, also opens up a new path seldom travelled.
If we need to beat ourselves up… let’s do that. If we need to go through the phase of suffering and depression… let’s do that. At the end of the day, we walk towards the light at the end of the tunnel and when we reach, we turn back, put a ‘no entry’ sign, close the path, and walk away, never to turn back.
Let the path that should not be taken be the path to guide us forward.
Had your breakfast? Rushed for work/school? Had a good lunch? Back home for dinner? Too tired to do anything else, or maybe spent some ‘quality’ time on the computer? Or maybe play a game or two? So all set for a nice shut eye?
Sounds familiar? I am sure it does. We are all ‘guilty’ of it. Guilty? Why Guilty you might ask – why not I will ask you back. How old are we? What did we do with our life? We are always tossed around by this huge wheel called life. Why are we slaves of the environment? Why do we caging ourselves to the routine boundaries of the world of our making? No one has enslaved us – we have! We are always looking for people to blame this on… Look no further, there is none. It is we. We are the ones we make ourselves who we are. Let us not go into the blame game.
Take a step back. Is there something we can do differently today – maybe start with the small things. Maybe you could take a moment to smell the roses, say ‘Hi!’ to your neighbour, or your bus driver, or maybe read a book, write a poem, share a coffee with your loved ones, spent time to reflect on yourself, and the list goes on. These are not difficult tasks, but we find it so hard to just do that little more.
I once was queuing up for lunch. I was extremely hungry and the person preparing the food was very slow. As I try to have my own conversations to keep myself sane from the infuriating flame of anger and agitation, I saw an old lady behind me. I was asking myself if I should let her go ahead of me, then again I carried on my internal conversation: ‘I am sure she had all the time in the world, but I am the busy one’… ‘But then she is old and she will feel pain standing’… ‘well my food is going to be very simple to prepare, it will be very short… should I even bother thinking about giving her the space to move forward?’… The internal conversations I have are simple in nature but complex in depth. When my turn came, I moved aside and let her move forward. She got her food, and she did not thank me… but that did not bother me. I was totally elated to know that I did a good thing.
It is not the size of deeds we do everyday. It is the thought and the will to make a difference to others and in the process for ourselves. We have to always learn to take a step back and look around us. To take a deep breath and to appreciate the fact that we are living. We need to accept the fact that we are grateful for the many thing – even to have this nice keyboard and monitor to do the work, sitting on a nice cosy chair. Take a break, take a breather, enjoy life!
We have everything, but we have nothing.
What is the happiness that we seek?
A poor chap lives on a fraction of what we spend on our gadget or accessories, but who is happier? Poor comparison it may be, but the question still stays. How do we measure happiness? Is it a case of who has more, or a case of who feels more satisfied. Then again does satisfaction lead to happiness? So… what is happiness and who and how is it defined? Could we say happiness is the end result we seek — may it be chasing our dreams, or having the heightened sense of achievement? We are always pursuing happiness aren’t we. Is happiness just an ultimate goal we want to achieve, and is it not a enjoyable journey to accompany us?
Let us now look at it from another perspective – Peace. Does it gives us peace?
How different is it from ‘Salvation’ or ‘Enlightenment’ or Solitude – the purpose here being the absence of both happiness and sadness bring us to a state of pure bliss… pure peace. That is an amazing space to be in… but a difficult painful path to pursue… but the path does not has space for ‘worldly feelings’ – or does it? Even the basic happiness is within our grasp, we find it so difficult to retain, so then how are we to move beyond that to forgo happiness for a greater feeling – the sense of complete nothingness?
The ‘state of nothingness’ is so amazing, it is like experiencing a great dream you would not want to wake up from. And once you so do wake up, you will always want to go back to it, only now you do not know how. But let’s take one step at a time… let’s be happy first :)
We start the day off. Very busy – rushing to work. Working parents more so – get their kids ready, have their meals packed, get them on the bus or drive them to school etc. Our day is a busy one. In that how much time do we spent looking around us. Do we even have time to wonder how the rest live their lives?
For me I just want to make a point that no matter how caught up I can still log in to write a few works. That means a lot.