So another day has passed… and I didn’t do anything better.. Better as in I didn’t really make a major difference in anyone life – not that I consciously noticed. I didn’t really help any old lady to walk across the road – anyway it is so pa se.
However, I did gouge down a lot of scrumptious food – lots of them and am now topping up with instant noodles with some sinful drink to accompany it in the middle of the night. Maybe I would need more of this… let me get one more. So what have I done today? And what am I doing now? It is as if I am turning to the dark side – and you know what? Isn’t is more fun than playing the harp all day long? Ya. It sure is fun. There is no need to worry about the good that needs to be done, or the peace that I think I so need to seek. I have my solitude now… with a computer in front of me, more unhealthy food and drink to accompany my lonely soul.
What has happened to me? Where has my unwaivering positivity and innocent smile gone? I do have it but it seem to be getting harder and harder to keep up. Everyday the cloud of sad faces and dark forces surround me and it just gets more taxing to fight them back. Maybe I am tired… maybe I just need to let go and slide down the path… maybe I just should give up the quest….
… and maybe that is where I should fight and stay strong. Nothing is going to bring me down! I am not some silly soul… I believe I have a purpose… a much greater purpose being here. I have yet to fully realise it, but I am special. We all are! I need to not give up… not give in… but hold my head up high… and keep fighting….