Regret

IF… If only…

/ inSolitude / Leave a comment

IF. 

If… If only…. 

If is a very powerful word. We use it a lot without even realising it. 
If only I were prettier. If only I were a little taller. If only I were richer. If only I were a little bit more careful. If only I could have thought straight. If only I had expressed myself to her better. If only I had told my mom how much I loved her. If only I pushed myself just a little harder. If only I were more careful. If only I focused on my studies when I was younger. If only I had a baby. If only I had a better spouse. If only I took time off to be with my family. If only I had not made that stupid mistake. If only I were younger.

If… If only. 

We all had that wish. We wished for something. We wish to turn back time. We want to do right what we messed up. We were younger. Maybe I could make a better decision if I were given a second choice. Our wishes could have been fulfilled IF that ‘missing’ element was present to make that happen. Many a time, we could have ‘fixed’ the problems if we had just taken the alternate path, or to have simply walked away. We did not…. and so we are here… with a bagful of ifs and possibly with it regrets. 

We tell ourselves that we have control over our lives and we are pretty lucky to be living the life we are living. We probably even wisen up to be thankful for what we have and tell ourselves to be grateful for those…. but as much as we talk to ourselves and comfort ourselves on how good we have had it and keep reminding ourselves to be contented and be happy with what we have, when we see someone else living the life we want to live… don’t we feel the mood dampen? Don’t we secretly desire to have our places swapped? To have done things differently? The IFs start creeping in again.

We all go through the IF-stage at varying degrees. I felt ashamed that I even harbour that thought… but I so really want to turn back time, to change things, to clean up my act, to be better. I so badly want it… but we all know it is not possible. 

Life is a interesting teacher. She teaches us to appreciate life by creating death around us. She teaches us to be hopeful by giving us hopeless situations. She teaches us to be good by making us do wrong. She gives us less so we learn to appreciate what we have. She makes us grow old, so we will appreciate the little time we have left. 

We are all children with different gifts and we are being moulded by life everyday. Love who we are, learn from our mistakes, accept our flaws, embrace our quirks, and live a full life. Everything happens for a reason.

 

Regret

/ inSolitude / Leave a comment

There are many instances in our lives where we did what we should not have done, and we live to regret. Sometimes we do it unknowingly. Sometimes we do it unintentionally. Sometimes we hope not to see it, hoping that the universe will sort itself out. That does not happen. We live to regret. Many a times we regret the things we did not do more than the things we did.

Some regrets one can feel very guilty about. To have done shameful things, not affecting others, but oneself. Sometimes others may not think much of it, but you tend to be hard on yourself – you know what you did was wrong. And you feel ashamed! For that split moment we make a mistake… a wrong judgement and a grave mistake is committed.

Guilt and Shame are very hard to go away. We just hope we close our eyes and it is gone. We can only hope. We have to live through it – it reminds us not to do it. It helps us to redefine us, our values and who we really are, and what we really care for.

Just take one step at a time to move on… and to look back once a while and to remind ourselves of the lessons. Life have many lessons for us. Some pleasant and others unpleasant – both allows us to grow and become better people… better humans.